198. You're allowed to accept your body today FINAL AUDIO
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[00:00:00] Hello, my wonderful podcast friends. I'm so glad to have you here. Welcome to the Woman of Wellness podcast. I'm your host, Elizabeth dol. My goal is to help you make peace with food, make peace with your body, and create sustainable, healthy habits that help you show up as the woman of wellness you want to be become.
And today we're going to be talking all about. Embracing your body in whatever season it's in. Before we jump into that though, if you want a community who is working at this, um, embracing their bodies, supporting their bodies through change, um, and healthy habits, our Women's Wellness Hub is here to support you.
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Welcome to the Woman of Wellness Podcast, a show dedicated to empowering you to make peace with food, embrace your body, and enjoy the journey to lasting health and wellness. I'm your host, Elizabeth Dahl, a certified exercise [00:02:00] physiologist and women's nutrition and behavior coach. Passionate about helping you build sustainable habits, achieve your goals, and create a lifetime of health without dieting or restriction.
And because women's health is such a multifaceted journey alongside sharing my expertise, I'm bringing you conversations with leading women's health experts. To explore the many dimensions of wellness from nutrition and weight loss to mental health hormones and self care, we'll uncover the tools and strategies you need to create a life of health and balance.
To the woman who's tired of the dieting rollercoaster, who feels. Disconnected from her body or overwhelmed by food and fitness rules. This is your invitation to make a change to the woman who's ready to achieve food freedom, lose weight in a way that feels good, and discover the true meaning of health.
You are in the right place. It's time to ditch the guilt and shame of diet, culture, and embrace a new path to wellness. My friend, you are [00:03:00] already a woman of wellness. Your worth is not defined by a number on the scale. You deserve to show up in love for your body today and every day. Join me each week for inspiring conversations, expert insights and practical strategies to help you discover what your body truly needs.
It's time to reject the lie that help and weight loss have to be hard, painful, or miserable. I'm ready to link arms with you and experience the joy of wellness together. Let's talk about accepting our bodies. I recently had a coaching call in our membership about this, and we have women of all stages of life in inside our wellness hub, inside our community, and.
Um, there was a lot of conversation about, you know, my body is shifting into a different stage or a different season, and the things that [00:04:00] I am I was doing then aren't the things that I've been doing aren't really giving me the same results and I'm just noticing some shifting happening in my body. And we need to have a conversation, um, about this because as women, we experience a lot of shifts.
In our lives and in our bodies. So I wanted to dive deep into this conversation today and you know, sometimes I give strategy, sometimes I show up with science and, and all of that. But today I want to show up with my heart and I want you to feel my love for you. And I also want you to just feel supported.
And I hope that you leave this episode. Feeling supported, feeling loved by your own self, and the capacity to appreciate, to accept the body that you're in while also, um, supporting it, right? Supporting it [00:05:00] through, um, any stage that you have. So, you know, I, I shared that, you know, some of our members are going through different stages like menopause.
Um. Other things like that. And I thought, okay, well you know what? I better show, share a little bit of my own vulnerability, I guess. Um, so I've kind of shared this a little bit before, but, um, when I have during pregnancy, I usually don't gain a lot of weight. And then I have my babies and then I nurse my babies and three outta three kids.
Now when I stopped nursing, um, my weight just like really increases like. Pretty fast. And it's a mixture of, you know, I think my body's just kind of adjusting again. Um, but more than that, it's like my body still feels really hungry, like a nursing hunger, but I'm not burning the calories of nursing hunger.
And so I'm still eating more and it takes me several months, [00:06:00] potentially a year or two to kind of help adjust my body. And, you know, I think. F from an outside perspective, or I would even just say from a judgmental perspective here, because we're, we're our worst, we're our own worst judgements, right? Um, you know, you might say, well just eat less or just, just do this, you know?
But the truth is like, my body still feels kind of hungry and so it's like, it's not as easy as just like saying, just eat less, you know? And I think we, I guess that's the first thing that I really wanna. I really wanna drive home is, can you identify where you are being unrightly? I don't, that's not right the right word, but, um, I.
Unsupportive, I can't think of the word. Um, judging yourself, right? Where you're, you're placing judgment where judgment doesn't need to be. [00:07:00] Maybe you are trying to figure things out, right? You're trying to learn and you're like, well, why can't I just figure this as this out? Or I should know better. How many times have you said that to yourself?
I should know better or. I have to be honest, I've said the same thing, right? I'm a coach. I should like, I do this for a living. I should do do. Um, but the truth is none of us should all we, we should stop shoulding all over ourselves. Right? Um, because it, it doesn't, it doesn't do any good for us. It just.
Put shame, um, on, on the situation. And when we enter from shame, then we start to punish our bodies, right? We create that like punishment mindset. Like, okay, well I just gotta dial it in. I've gotta restrict, restrict, restrict. Um, but what if instead you [00:08:00] acknowledged, I guess, that body acceptance. It doesn't mean giving up, it means letting go of the war, essentially.
Right. The, the war against change, and I think it's so important because when we have, when our body goes through a change, sometimes it's, sometimes it's. You know, out of our control in the sense like, okay, I'm going through menopause. I can't really control that, that's my age or whatever. Um, and so it's kind of out of our control.
We don't really know what's going on and we, we don't really know what to expect. And you know, I've been doing a bunch of research on that time of life and it's fascinating to me because the research that I keep kind of seeing is that like every woman transitions differently. Um, through that time. And if you think about it, I mean, if you think about like pregnancy, it's [00:09:00] the same thing.
Everyone is different and has different symptoms and different changes in their bodies, and so if we're constantly trying to fight against something that we can't necessarily control or if we feel like we could control it and then we're frustrated that we didn't, we're still fighting against it. Okay, so that's the first thing that I think I, I really want to, I guess, get at, is that accepting your body doesn't mean that you're giving up on it.
It just means that you are saying, Hey, maybe we're a little uncomfortable together. What can we do to. Feel more comfortable together. So I was kind of telling you, you know, I, I had, I wanted to start into this stage of weight loss, but then I, then I, um, started training for the Spartan Race and it's been super interesting because I've been lifting a lot [00:10:00] heavier and I can feel that my body is bulking up a bit.
I've actually, I don't know if I've ever trained in this way before. Um, uh, this like heaviness, I guess the word is. And so it's interesting because I was kind of like, still, like I had, there's a scale at the gym and I was just like, still going once a week. I was just like stepping on the scale and like nothing was changing.
Nothing was changing for, for weeks and it's still not changing, but I can feel the difference in my body. I'm getting stronger, but it's so interesting because my body is, is getting a little bit. Bigger alongside that, and that can feel a little bit uncomfortable even if I know it's muscle. And I want you to know that I'm a woman too, and I understand this, right?
Even as a coach, I understand [00:11:00] what it kind of feels like to like have a little bit of that desire to just be like the smallest version of yourself. But sometimes the smallest version of yourself isn't always the best. It might not always be the best lifestyle, um, and sometimes it's an unrealistic, um.
Pursuit, especially if we're at a certain age, right? Like sometimes we wanna compare ourselves to, to our 20-year-old body. Well, that 20-year-old body didn't have X number of babies, didn't go through X number of years of life, right? Um, didn't go through perimenopause, pet menopause, whatever. Um, and we want to be that.
And, and I just, I want to remind all of us that there is space for. Different body sizes throughout our lives. Just like we might say there's help at every size for [00:12:00] everyone, right? Um, I want to bring it back on you and recognize that there is help at every size for you, specifically for your, um, your life and your body.
Um, sometimes health exists differently. It looks different and. We have to kind of stop fighting against it and rather working, working with it. So there's like a, a little bit of that common myth that if I start, if I accept my body, then I'm gonna stop caring about it. But the truth here is, is that body acceptance creates a space for that sustainable health rather than neglect when we reject our body.
We tend to neglect it or punish it. My body's not good enough. It's not doing what it's supposed to. I am just going to eat the cookies anyway. [00:13:00] Right. And it's frustrating that we get that way, but it's the diet mentality. It's a diet mentality. The diet culture teaches us that we need to escape our bodies.
So when we get to a point of frustration with our bodies, we enter the diet cycle of restriction. And that's the first, that's the entrance point, is body disgust, right? Body hatred, whatever that word is for you. So accepting your body doesn't mean not doing anything for your body, but rather could we redefine acceptance.
Acceptance doesn't mean that you love everything. And I am a big advocate for, I don't think that everyone needs to love everything about their body. And I don't think you need to look in a mirror and love everything about your body to accept and love your body. Um, we're all going to have flaws or things that are hard, and I, and I think that they're there for a reason.
I think that they really help us dig deep [00:14:00] and, and find what does make us wonderful and great. Um, because we work with the imperfections. Acceptance also means not being done growing. You're, you might be transitioning into a different stage of life and you have some growing to do, some learning to do.
And even if you try all the things that you think you're supposed to do, sometimes you still just have to go through the process of, man, this is a little bit tricky, this is a little bit different, and I need to, I need to be with this for a minute. There's so much pressure to go fast and hard, right? To like, okay, I've gotta get outta this, so I've gotta do the 30 day plan, or I've gotta shred it out of me, or whatever, right?
Like I've gotta, I'm just thinking of like a 30 day shred or something, and there's that pressure to just get out of the stage as fast as possible. But if we were allowed to [00:15:00] sit in it and recognize, okay, this is a new. A new space for me or, or whatever, then um, I can grow. Let me give you an example. I am trying really, really hard to get my steps up in a day.
Um. But the truth is like I am a mom of three and nobody told me that three kids feels like 4 million kids. Two kids was two kids, but three kids is like a next level. Like I don't know exactly what happened. Nobody warned me about this. Um, and I am trying to get walks in, but I am gonna be honest, my toddler is full on toddler mode right now and she doesn't really love the stroller and.
Gosh, sometimes it's just really hard to get out on a walk or on a hike. It's like, it's just, it's just hard to get out with a baby versus when, you know, I'm on my own, I'm like, oh, I can, you know, eat lunch and then I can go on a walk and I don't have to worry about, like, making sure that [00:16:00] you're not gonna cry in the stroller.
Right. And so it's been a little bit trickier and, and sometimes my, my brain. My brain wants to be like, just do it. Just do it. Just do it. Right. But then I'm reminded that it's, it's a season of life and you know, there's a, there's this pressure right now that it's summer coming up and bodies start to come out.
That's the reality, right? We start to wear swimming suits, we start to wear less clothes. It gets warmer outside. Um, and the reality is, is like we're not behind sweaters anymore. And sometimes that can feel really, um, difficult to kind of bring that body back out when maybe it's not where we want it to be right now.
And so we, you know, wanna hide it or, or whatever. And, and, and we, we get in this space of like, I've got to get out of this. But could we just say, you know what. I recognize that maybe my body's not in, like, it's not like a perfect physical specimen, right? It's, it's [00:17:00] not there. And, and maybe I do want to work on it, but I don't have to punish it and restrict so much to get there.
I can. Be compassionate and I can recognize like, okay, maybe this isn't my summer. I don't know. I just use the word summer because I know there's a lot of pressure around summer and the warm months. Um, maybe this isn't my summer to have a six pack that you can see. In fact, um, and I don't know why I'm sharing so much of my own personal journey, but I, I hope it's helpful for you because I'm not immune to these feelings.
I just. What I teach is that, you know, we have the control over how we respond to them and what we do about them, and so. I went to this, I went to a couple stores the other day. I was like looking for some summer clothes. My, my shorts, none of my shorts fit me. And I think it's a combination of a little extra weight, but also like, I've been lifting heavier, so my muscles are a little bit bigger in my legs.
And it's been interesting to like, go up a [00:18:00] size, you know, like you just kinda have to navigate those feelings. And I was trying on, um, swimming suits and, you know, when I was pregnant and. Nursing, like my body was in like phenomenal shape, interestingly enough. Um, and you know, I like had bought like a two piece swimsuit and I felt really good in it.
Whatever. This maybe sounds really silly, but, um, it was so interesting because I was trying some on the other day and I was just like, I don't feel comfortable in these. I do not feel comfortable in these. And it was really cool because. I tried on an A one piece that I, I really actually struggle with one pieces because when you have kids, you're, you just sort of feel like you don't wanna like, take everything off, you know?
But, um, anyway, that's a little bit off track. I tried on this, this one piece and I was like, this looks good on me and it fits me. And that's what matters, right? This fits my body, and we talked about this on our group call. About, you know, [00:19:00] clothing isn't designed for us to fit into. Clothing is designed to fit onto our bodies.
And so if you are trying to fit into clothing that's too small, you're gonna hate clothing, right? You're gonna hate it. Um, but when you just, when you are willing to say, yes, I'm up a size, and that doesn't mean that I. Have forgotten about my body or I'm not caring about my body. Um, but it just means maybe I'm just in a different season right now and I can accept that and work toward potentially, you know, working toward it might give me some guidance or some help, but my body deserves to be comfortable in these clothes and so I may have to go up a size or two, um, and recognize that like I can still find things that fit my body.
And not the other way around. And I feel good in find what feels good. And so [00:20:00] acceptance really is about saying, you know, my body is here and it's worthy of being taken care of, it's worthy of being nourished. And one of those ways is, you know, nourished with clothing that fits. I don't know why we as women, and I, again, I'm not immune to it.
I don't know why we have a such a, a. An attachment to a particular size or number, and we can't go beyond that. Um, there's obviously a lot of deeper emotions there, which I know we're not gonna address today, but we have created a reason behind a number or, or a meaning behind a number. But the truth is, you're not a number, you're a person.
Allow that person. To feel good and be nourished, one from clothes, but also, you know, you can still not [00:21:00] be in the place you want to be and take care of your health. And that can be such a mind blowing concept. For some I can, I can still accept my body and nourish and strengthen it, right? And, and, um, nurture it.
And not necessarily be where I want to be. Is that a crazy concept to say out loud? Because maybe subconsciously or even just like, you know, not verbally, we say, well, if my body's here, then it's, it's, it needs to be restricted, but. When we restrict or reject, essentially restriction is, is a rejection of our body.
We get this chronic, I'm gonna call it chronic emotional weight of always [00:22:00] needing to change. It's constant.
Is there a place you can get where it's, there's an acceptance and a support rather than. A rejection and a escape, a punishment because when, when we reject, we miss memories. We hide from photos, right? Um, we're not present in our lives. It holds us back in a lot of ways. But the truth is, if you looked at every single woman's timeline across her life, guaranteed, if we just took pictures right, we would see this woman at different stages, at different sizes, at different weights.
Due to life. Right? Um, and then not only that, not in only the emotional load, but the physical impact of that chronic stress, the amount of mental energy that you take, [00:23:00] and also potentially the physical energy, right? The, the restriction, the not resting. I've gotta do this no matter what. That's costly. And we know that stress and cortisol, um.
It can really affect our body's ability to change. So if we bring in self-compassion, um, it helps release that stress and that cortisol and helps us release even the weight. And you've probably heard that before where people say, you know what? I worked on self-love and I released some weight. It's truth.
It's true because as soon as we, um, are able to release that tight grip that we have on this maybe. Impossible at the moment, or unrealistic at the moment. Goal. It allows us to take a deep breath and work on what we need to. So, um, where do I wanna go from here? [00:24:00] We want to, I want to encourage you and inclu myself included here, is how can we reframe.
Um, some of the things that we feel about our bodies. So I wanted to, I, I got a couple to read to you. My body is not a problem to fix. My body is not a problem to fix. Acceptance is the foundation of healing. And I can be proud of who I am and work toward growth. I believe that and exists, and it should exist, right?
I can accept my body and work toward change, and I believe that's the only way to create happy, sustainable change is it comes from a place of acceptance. I've worked with. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of women, [00:25:00] um, that down this path, and that's the only way that it's going to end up happy. I promise I've seen women lose weight and not be happy in their bodies because they did it from a place of shame, um, and escape.
So again, and exists, right? You can feel sad or frustrated or confused about changes that are happening in your body and accept them, okay, I'm going through this season of my life and I can also do my best. Right. And, and some of this is hard. Some of it's hard. Maybe you're in an injury, right? Maybe you have an injury or something.
And so can you, can you bring the and in you can want to feel different and give yourself permission to feel enough. Now you can want to be a different size in your clothes and you can get clothes that fit your body right now instead of that goal clothing, right? [00:26:00] Um, so. Hopefully, I hope this conversation has, has helped you maybe identify where you are stuck, where maybe you're stuck in a chronic thought loop or a chronic, um, shame game.
Shame blame game. Of, I just wanna escape this. I just wanna escape this and trust me. I mean, who really wants to say, yeah, menopause is gonna be a really fun transition. I have hot flashes and I don't sleep at night, and, um, my fat patterning changes to my stomach. Like, okay, nobody's like, yeah, bring that on.
Right? But it's, it's the reality of life and. We can go into it saying, yeah, I can support my body. I recognize it's going to change. Um, how can I see this change as an opportunity to learn more about [00:27:00] myself, to dig deeper, um, into self love? Maybe I need to dig deeper. I think the more uncomfortable you feel, the deeper you need to dig for love and acceptance.
I think I'm gonna leave that right there. Actually, the, the, the, I don't even remember what I just said. It was so good. It was a one-liner, so go back and listen to it. Um, but. I, I just want, I guess I just really wanted to have this episode out there. Um, for anyone that is feeling uncomfortable in their body right now, for whatever reason, you could be even going through, you know, just you're just full.
Things are full or you're busy and, and health isn't priority. Maybe, maybe you know, you've got children that need you or, um, parents that need you or, or something. [00:28:00] And. You can't give it the energy that you want to, but can you still give some form of energy to say, I recognize that I, I can't do maybe what I wish I could, but I can do this.
Right? Or maybe we should remember to say, and, and I can do this. You don't have to hate your body into change. You're allowed to honor it, care for it, and accept it just as it is right now. So no matter what you're going through, your body is worthy. It's worthy of acceptance. It's worthy of being comfortable, it's worthy of being nurtured, it's worthy of being nourished.
You are worthy of, you know, listening to your hunger and fullness cues, even if that doesn't mean that it's gonna equal, equal out to weight loss specifically. Right. I, I think sometimes we just, we look at exercise and nutrition as. A means to something, right? It's like I'm, it's getting me to a [00:29:00] particular goal, but it's not about the goal.
It's not about the goal, it's about the lifestyle. You can still honor your body. You can still support your body, right? You can still mindfully eat and stop when you're 80% full, even if you're not working toward a weight loss goal. And that can feel really weird. You know, when, when you're like, oh, or you can still, here's another example.
You can still, um, you know, try to get more protein in your diet. Even if you're not working towards something. You don't have to be working towards something all the time. And also you don't have to, you don't have acceptance. Doesn't mean that you are. Always working on something and it also doesn't mean that you're giving up.
So I guess I wanna end with this. What does it look like for you to accept your body right now? What is not? What is, what is dissonant? [00:30:00] What's what's not working? And what can you do to accept and nurture and nourish the body that you have right now? I am, I would love to hear your responses. Will you message me on Instagram?
Will you email me? It doesn't matter. I would love to hear anything. What does that look like for you? And I already kind of shared, you know, for me it was just. Just going to buy some clothing that felt a little bit more comfortable on my body and a swimsuit that felt way more comfortable and it looked good.
Like it was a good color. And it just was like one of those, like, I put it on, I was like, yes, this is it. You know? Um, and it was a different size than I normally wear, and that's okay. Um, and remember, everyone's on their own journey, you know? Just because she's on this size or this size, it doesn't mean that we don't all struggle with things in, in our own unique ways.
So have patience for others too. Have acceptance for others and their journey as well, [00:31:00] and look for opportunities to accept, to nurture and nourish your body this week. Okay, my friend, if you love the Woman of Wellness podcast, did you know that one of the biggest ways you can say thank you is by hitting that subscribe button and leaving a review?
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Make sure to tag me at a woman of wellness and I will be sure to send my love right back. And while you're at it, just come hang out with me on Instagram. I share lots more support over there as well from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for being here. I absolutely mean it.
