212. Healing your body image FINAL AUDIO
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[00:00:00] Hello, hello and welcome back to the podcast. I'm your host, Elizabeth Dahl, and I'm so glad that you are here Today. We are talking all about how to heal your body image. And before we jump into that, I actually have a really big, really exciting announcement that has. Actually a lot to do with your relationship with your body.
In just a couple weeks, I am running a brand new free challenge called the Make Piece With Food Challenge. This is a three day live event online. Of course, you can watch from the comfort of your own home where we're going to teach you how to stop starting over. Quiet the food guilt, and finally gain control around food without another diet or set of rules.
So in this three days, in this free [00:01:00] challenge, you'll uncover why diets have kept you stuck. You'll learn how to rebuild trust with your body and take those first steps toward lasting peace with food and yourself. If your relationship with your body and or food. Feels messy, and you are stuck in a cycle of starting and stopping and guilt and shame.
This free challenge is for you. All you have to do to be part of it is to join at a woman of wellness.com/. Free challenge and then everything will be communicate, communicated to you, um, by email. So I'd love to have you join us, tell your friends, have them join us. Let's create a world where we feel confident and safe around food in a world that has so much food noise.
I hope that you'll join me. Let's get into the episode. Welcome to the Woman of Wellness Podcast, a [00:02:00] show dedicated to empowering you to make peace with food, embrace your body, and enjoy the journey to lasting health and wellness. I'm your host, Elizabeth Dahl, a certified exercise. Physiologist and women's nutrition and behavior coach passionate about helping you build sustainable habits, achieve your goals, and create a lifetime of health without dieting or restriction.
And because women's health is such a multifaceted journey alongside sharing my expertise, I'm bringing you conversations with leading women's health experts. Explore the many dimensions of wellness from nutrition and weight loss to mental health hormones and self-care. We'll uncover the tools and strategies you need to create a life of health and balance.
To the woman who's tired of the dieting rollercoaster, who feels disconnected from her body or overwhelmed by food and fitness rules, this is your invitation to make a change to the woman who's ready to achieve food freedom. Lose weight in a way that feels [00:03:00] good and discover the true meaning of health.
You are in the right place. It's time to ditch the guilt and shame of diet, culture, and embrace a new path to wellness, my friend. You are already a woman of wellness. Your worth is not defined by a number on the scale. You deserve to show up in love for your body today. And every day, join me each week for inspiring conversations, expert insights and practical strategies to help you discover what your body truly needs.
It's time to reject the lie that health and weight loss have to be hard, painful, or miserable. I'm ready to link arms with you and experience the joy of wellness together. Let's talk about healing our body image today. This is a heavy topic. I guess maybe, I wouldn't say heavy, maybe a deep topic. Um, and I think.
Uh, typically or traditional approaches are well just tell yourself you love your [00:04:00] body, or, um, have some self-care things or, you know, give yourself some love. And while those things are great, um, they scratch the surface. And if you know anything about me or if you've listened to any more than one episode, you know that I believe that.
Depth is where the answers come from. And when we can go a little bit deeper and get at the root of the struggle, that's where we heal. So we're gonna do that, we're gonna do that today in our conversation here on the podcast, and we're also going to do it even deeper. Um. Inside our make peace with food challenge.
So I already shared that with you. Please join if you want to go deeper on this topic, um, but today's kind of prep work, um, to help you really understand, um, why you may be having struggles. With your relationship with your body and your body image. Okay? [00:05:00] So, um, let's go deeper in the challenge today. We're gonna do some prep work for that as well.
Okay? So the thing that I want you to know before we even jump in, and I have lots of stories to share today, okay. Which I think actually will be really helpful. The first thing that I want you to know is that healing your relationship with your body starts with one thing. Your stories. The stories that you have about your body are the truths that you hold about your body.
I'm going to say that again. The stories you have about your body are the truths you hold about your body. Here's my story, okay? I have three kids and. For two kids, my first two kids, I tried [00:06:00] breastfeeding them and I tried lots of things and I wanted it to be successful. And I lasted about three to four months, um, with supplementation with both of them, and I, I had a truth.
Because two outta two at the time, I had a story and a truth that IA makes skim milk and b, I am not good at this, or my body just doesn't. It doesn't produce enough. And some of that is true because I have a friend who over produces. So I am very aware that everybody's bodies are very different and we all have, um, unique.
Situations and things like that. So there is some truth to it that I didn't create a lot. So I had a pretty strong story [00:07:00] that I was just not good at breastfeeding. I was not good at nursing. I made skim milk. I, it just didn't work out well. I ran outta milk really quickly. Um, I had to supplement it. It was just the story that I had is that, that was not my superpower.
Okay. Fast forward several years to baby number three. And I kind of did the same thing. I was like, yeah, I'm just gonna try it. I'm just going to go for it. And I nursed my baby for almost 10 months, almost exclusively, probably until like eight or so months. It was like mostly exclusively. And it was interesting because I had this like, wait a minute.
What, and every time I saw this little sweet baby girl grow, I was like, that was all me. That was all me. I did that. Like her roles were mine [00:08:00] and it was so transformative, so healing for me to change my body story to realize that I, I could do this and. It worked. And for so long I had the story and the truth, right?
Because there was a lot of evidence that it didn't work, my body didn't work in that way, and all of a sudden I have this third baby and I took some different approaches and I had a good baby too. I mean, all my kids, all my babies, I'm just, I'm not saying that they were bad, but I'm just saying like I had a baby that, um, was very.
Calm and I was able to be calm and there were a few things that that went into the success of this, but it wasn't, it was actually [00:09:00] interesting because there was significantly less interventions this time than for the other two. And it just worked. I basically, it just worked and I realized that. I, in that timeframe was able to completely transform my story and change my story.
My body is good at this and it works. I made a baby with a little bit of chubby legs. You know, I don't make huge, chubby babies, but, but like I was able to change those stories. My body actually wasn't bad at this.
And I wonder if you have a story like this where your body is one way because of your experiences, and then something else has come in and [00:10:00] changed that. I wanna share a few more stories because I think this is valuable, and then we're gonna be talking about, you know. You know what, how do we heal this?
Or how do we, how do we change these stories? So I'm gonna change their names. These are some of my clients that I've worked with in the past, but I'm gonna change their names to respect their privacy. But I wanna tell you other stories because it's really valuable when you understand that stories can be changed because when stories are changed, outcomes change, right?
Our relationship with our body can completely change, our body image can change regardless of the physical change. I didn't change anything physically about my body to, to make it, I guess, better at breastfeeding, but I was able. To do some things that change, like it changed and I didn't, I didn't have to, how am I trying to explain this?
I didn't have to, um, [00:11:00] my body didn't necessarily change because so often we think that our body image will improve when our body changes, and that's simply not always the case. So here's a few other stories from clients that I have worked with over the years who have changed their stories and has completely changed their body image, their body chemistry, and everything about their health and wellness.
So we'll call her Rose Os. This particular client took years of abuse from a spouse and. Yeah. Her story was that she wasn't worthy to be loved. She wasn't worthy of love. Her body was not worthy of love.[00:12:00]
So when she would start new plans, right, new programs to improve her body, none of them worked because there was a story. That that body wasn't worthy of being supported and loved. And when she was able, and this is, this is more depth, this is, I'm starting off with a really strong one and I apologize for going all the way really, really fast.
But, um, so there's more depth to this that she worked on and healed, of course, but. What she shared with me was that when she realized she was worthy of love and her own body was worthy of love, regardless of size, shape, anything, it was worthy as it was. [00:13:00] She was able to escape that situation and stand up for herself and her confidence.
And support her own body in ways that it needed to be supported because it was inherently good and worthy of love no matter what size, shape, situation it was in it, she was worthy of love. Her body was worthy of love, and she escaped that situation and has healed her body image. Because of the story now that she and the story, the belief, the truth, okay.
We just talked about the stories lead to the truth. The truth that her body is worthy of love because it [00:14:00] is as it is because she exists. And that changed everything for her. Here's another one, Allie, again, I'm making up these names, I promise. She was someone who was afraid. We, we worked together for a little while and she wanted to start, um, doing some, um, more strength training, but she didn't really have a space in her home and she had a gym really close by, but she was afraid.
To be in the gym because her body wasn't the gym type. That's, that's what how she phrased it. Her body wasn't the gym type. She didn't belong there. So the story that she had was, my body's not worthy of showing up at the gym because it doesn't fit the gym body. So I can't go to the gym. And I can't transform.
And you know what? [00:15:00] We worked on that story and I still remember when she was like, I went to the main area where all the men were with all the weights, and I took up space and I felt confident and I was, I was worthy of being here just as much as anybody else. I was in front of the mirror. I was with the weights.
And she's like, I felt confident 'cause I learned how to, you know, strength, train strain. But at the end of the day, it was because she made the choice that her body was worthy of showing up in that place as it was. And she was able to support her body with exercise that felt so good to her because she was worthy of being there.
And she didn't have to do anything to gain the worthiness. Right. But she was able to take care of her body because [00:16:00] her body was allowed to be there. Right.
That's the truth. The story was, and the truth that she had created for so long was, I can't exercise at the gym because I don't. I don't deserve to be there. I don't look the, I don't look the, um, look, and we changed it to, I deserve to be there because I have a body that I wanna take care of and it's good and I can, I can show up and I can take up space and I can feel confident and I can support my body.
And how cool is it that when she made that choice, not only did the, not only did the relationship with the body change, but also she. Supported her body through physical change as well. Her body got stronger when she started with the story of when she got to the story of my body's worthy of showing up.
[00:17:00] That's when the support and the, and the, and the change, the physical change happened. Remember how I said earlier, so often I have women that you know will have. Times where they lose the weight and their body image doesn't change, or you know, they don't feel any better. It's because we haven't changed the story first.
And when she was able to take up space in that gym for herself, it changed everything. Changed how she felt about her body and how her body changed.
Okay. Another one I told you, I have lots of stories for you today, Brooke. Brooke wouldn't go hiking because her body was supposed to be a certain size before she started hiking. We're supposed to look a certain way in order to go hiking, supposed to be a certain weight to go hiking. But guess what? She was missing out on so many beautiful hikes in her area because her body [00:18:00] wasn't good enough to show up.
For hiking. It wasn't that type. Kind of like we talked about the gym, but guess what? Now it is because she changed her story and she knows that her body is good enough to show up as it is to support it. With a hike, Sarah, Sarah couldn't lose weight. Okay, well let me, this is the story, Sarah. Her story was.
It's hard to, it's too hard to lose weight in menopause, so I can't lose weight in menopause. But here's the cool thing. That's the truth. At the time, right at the truth, she had created into a truth. I, the story is I can't lose weight in menopause. So the truth is nothing that I do is making me lose weight.
I'm not doing anything to cause that. I've created the story. That is so strong that it causes me almost to subconsciously [00:19:00] sabotage those results. But when we changed the story and said, you can eat, you can fuel your body and you can change your body, even in menopause with the understanding that yes, things shift, things change.
She was able to lose weight in menopause. So her story changed.
This is a small snapshot of stories of working with women who, when they changed their body image, their relationship with their body,
it changed the trajectory of their health and wellness. N not just emotionally, which I think is the biggest thing, but also physically, they were able to show up and [00:20:00] do the things that they love. Lemme tell you one more, I, I can't even come up with a lame or a, I can't even come up with a random name, but a particular client loved to go boating, but wouldn't be caught dead in a swimming suit around people that she felt was more fit than her.
And she should be this way. She shouldn't look like this. Her leg shouldn't be this way. So she's covering up not getting in the water even though she loves to participate in the sports. But when she, when we change that story to my body is worthy of participating and showing up as it is. She got in the water, she played, she participated.
How often does your body hold you back? Because everything these women have in common was their body was holding them back.
[00:21:00] Their bodies and their images and their stories about what was right and wrong for them to do or show up or look like. Was holding them back from experiencing a fullness of health.
So if you find yourself in any of these stories where you may be stuck, I want to invite you to take a look at where you relationship with your body is because healing. That relationship is on the other side of awareness. That's the first step. I think so often we're like, oh, I just need to change my, I need to change my nutrition.
I need to change my diet. I need to exercise more. But when that doesn't work, it always [00:22:00] comes back to it's because I was trying to escape my body, right? Every diet, every weight loss plan. Started with the mechanism of escape.
So we first have to be aware that we're doing it, and that is hard to maybe accept sometimes, um, because I think sometimes out loud we can be like, yeah, my body's worthy, or I'm worthy. Maybe not, but, but a lot of times I hear women are like, yeah, I know that. But then we still let things hold us back, like we say it, but we don't believe it.
First step really is being aware of the stories that you're telling yourself that are holding you back from showing up for your best self. [00:23:00] The second part of healing is. Collaboration.
If you are constantly trying to escape your body, you will not learn how to work with it to get where you wanna be and stay there and maintain, because life throws a lot of curve balls and we have to learn how to do. Navigate that. So how can we collaborate with our bodies? And I want you to ask yourself this question, how can I work with my body instead of against it?
And I want you to be honest about where you might be working against it. Maybe it's not as, as blatant, is that the word? Maybe it's not as obvious as some of these examples I've given, but do you put deadlines on yourself? I've got to lose this much weight by this time. [00:24:00] Do you put pressure on yourself? Oh my gosh, I'm getting older and I feel like I should have been there by now.
I should have figured it out by now. Or I've got this coming up, I've got to, I've gotta get myself into gear, right? Or it's the 1st of January. I have got to figure it out this year. Are you working against it? You find yourself entering phases of restriction. I can't have this, I've gotta cut this outta my diet.
This usually helps. Or do you find yourself saying, screw it, food freedom for all and I can eat whatever I want because that's also a, that's also a coping mechanism. Fine. Whatever. I'm just, I, I can't, I, there's nothing I can do. Right? That's another body story of like, well, my body is the way it is, it's broken, or I just can't do this, you [00:25:00] know, it doesn't work for me.
And then we, then we go to the extreme of like, I'm just, I'm going to eat what I want, when I want. Those are all ways we're working against IT restrictions and. And lack of, what's the right word? Um, accountability, I guess, um, and respect because there are choices we need to make to support our body best.
Once you learn to collaborate with your body, then you can learn to meet your needs without restrictions and rules set by outside sources, set by other people, set by diets plans, right? All of this, and this is where true body healing and in turn, food freedom in the way that I share food freedom comes from.
That's the cool part about it. [00:26:00] Is that when you start to learn to collaborate with your body, you can meet those needs and you can stop overeating and stop emotional eating and learn how to support your body and change your body change happy. Change only comes when we are in a relationship with our body.
So. If you are like, yeah, this is where I want, this is where I want to go. I'm struggling. I recognize that I'm stuck, stuck in this cycle of restrict, binge free for all deadlines, pressure escaping my body. I'm not in a good head space with my body. I'm the heaviest I've ever been. I feel uncomfortable my body, et cetera, et cetera.
Join our Make Peace With Food Challenge. It's totally free, and we're gonna go deeper and we're going to help you identify. How to change these, how to change these [00:27:00] stories and how to get out of this failed cycle that you keep repeating over and over again and find happiness and balance with your body and with food.
So the link is in the show notes. Make sure you join us before I go. I want to say one thing for anyone who feels like their body has betrayed them or they're in a really hard place, maybe you're thinking, yeah, but you don't know my story or, but yeah, my body actually is going through this. I'm in a group.
Let me grab some water.
I'm in a group, um, where. We talk about natural remedies, it's like a homeopathic group. Um, and holistic natural health remedies. I'm learning about [00:28:00] home homeopathy, that's how you say it. Um, and, and more natural approaches to medicine and body support and all of that. Anyway, I'm in this group and one of the moms the other day, it, we, there's a lot of moms in there that are supporting kids through, you know, health and all of that.
And she posted that she had done everything she possibly could. She'd done everything right for her kids. She's like, we are, we eat organic, we eat this way, we do this. We've made these choices like everything I can think of. And she said, my daughter was diagnosed with type one diabetes. How could I, what could I have done better?
And here's the crazy part. She came back and she said. You're not gonna believe this, but my son was just diagnosed with type one diabetes too, and the, the feeling of utter failure [00:29:00] right from her voice was just like, I've failed these bodies. And I've done everything right, or I've tried, and my body, my children's bodies have failed them.
And, and there's that story, right, where it's just like, it's wrong. Um, that's heavy and that's hard. And I understand those feelings. And also we can still hold space with, for, you know, my body has a unique situation. And I, it doesn't have to mean that it's a failure or that it's wrong or that it's bad, it's just different, and that's okay too.
Okay. Or a popular influencer. Um, I kind of follow along her journey. She's had a lot of infertility and, um, she recently, to make a long story short, I guess [00:30:00] for many years, basically. Had the story that her body was broken and it was bad at pregnancy, and she has been blessed. I don't even know how to like make the whole story.
Maybe you know her, but I don't know how to give the whole story in a small snapshot except to say for so long her body couldn't, it was bad at pregnancy. And then she had a baby and delivered at 36 weeks. So she was able to get pregnant and then that story changed. And then the, the story was, I'm bad at delivery.
I can't do this. Right. And then she just had a third baby and she was able to deliver her baby, um, you know, full term in vbac, like the way that she wanted to, and, and, um, her story was able to change. Her body story was able to change. And those are really heavy stories, right? Because they have a lot of [00:31:00] emotions that go along with them.
But what I want you to know is regardless of your situation, it can change, the story can change, and sometimes. Some things might have to change to help, you know, change that story. But also a lot of times it's okay for us to change our story to say my body is still good, right? My body still is worthy of love.
And just know that if you have any stories up to this point, I can only lose weight if I'm extremely restricted. I can only lose weight if I'm tracking macros. My body just gains weight as soon as I look at a dessert, you can change the story and say, you know, I, I can do it a different way. My body can be supported a different way.
Your stories are yours to [00:32:00] hold and they can always change. And your body as it is right now is worthy of acceptance. And I hope more than anything that in this 30 minutes that we've been together that you feel like in the slightest little bit, your relationship with your body has already changed.
Because when we change that. We can change everything and your relationship with your body is at the root of your relationship with food and health, and if things look messy in that arena, right? Your nutrition consistency with your habits exercise, a lot of it probably comes back to how you view your body, how you treat your body, how you think about your body.
It comes back to your body image. And that's what we want to change, and we're gonna go deeper in the challenge with this, but just know [00:33:00] that your stories can change. Thank you so much for joining me this week, and I'll be back next week. Here's the truth, whether you're taking medication, trying natural approaches, or a mix of both, quieting food, noise for good comes from inside you.
Our bodies have built-in systems for hunger, fullness and satisfaction, and those systems can be retrained and supported so they work for you. Again. That's exactly what we do inside my Food Freedom program. We rebuild Body trust step. By step so you can eat in a way that feels calm and balanced, not restrictive or chaotic.
You'll learn how to fuel your body, handle emotional triggers without food, and feel at peace in your skin without dieting, tracking, or obsessing. If food noise is exhausting you, and you're ready for a better way, join the wait list at a woman of wellness.com/. Food freedom. [00:34:00] You don't have to fight with food anymore.
You really can live in balance.
