Food freedom and rule
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[00:00:00] Hello. Hello. Welcome to the podcast. I'm your host, Elizabeth Dahl, and today we are talking about how to find balance between food rules and food freedom. But before we dive into that, if you are in. A battle with your relationship with food, or struggle with the all or nothing thinking, the restricted binge cycle, the start over cycle.
I want to invite you to join my free, make Peace with food. Challenge. It's three days of live instruction will help completely transform your relationship with food and stop the cycle of starting over. I'm so excited to be sharing with this, this, with you. You know that I go deep and we, we create change from the root.
Um, and that's the only way, [00:01:00] right? That's the only way to do it. So. We're going to have so much fun together. There will be replays available if you can't join us live. So please join us at a woman of wellness.com/free challenge. Invite your friends. All the links will be in the show notes for you to join.
Um, but you're not going to want to miss this. Okay, let's jump into the episode now.
Here's my perfect story of trying to find balance with food rules and food freedom, and this is before I had food freedom,
The biggest thing for me in all my history of dieting and all of that was when I got, I guess we could say enough motivation, [00:02:00] and typically the motivation came from a place of wanting to escape.
My body, oh, it's frustration, right? It's coming from a place of shame. I can't stay in this body I don't like, I need to lose some weight or something. And so a lot of times it would come from shame and I would say, okay. What can I restrict? What can I cut out? Should I cut out soda? Should I cut out sugar?
Should I cut out carbs? Right? And we create this restriction mode. So I would find whatever I could to be like, okay, I'm not eating that and I'm not eating that, and I'm not eating that. And um, as you know, probably the rest of the story goes. It wouldn't last very long. Because I felt too restricted, right?
I had a moment of weakness. I was tired. I was tired of eating the same foods. I wasn't [00:03:00] prepared. I didn't have enough, you know, variety. And so I just basically swung the pendulum the other way and said, well, I can't do this right? I'm, I'm just going to eat. Or I've already started. I might as well keep going.
I've already eaten one piece of candy. I might as well eat 'em all. Can you relate to this story? It seems like, especially in diet culture, and if we've been taught the traditional dieting methods that we hand up in this tug of war where, okay, well I know I wanna make some changes, so I recognize that I need to create some sort of.
Um, parameters, right? And we would call them restrictions in diet, diet, culture. I need to create some sort of parameters while also like I, I know that I can't do this forever, [00:04:00] like logically. So how do these two things coexist and. This is a big question to answer and this is something that not only will we help you get started with in our Make Peace with Food Challenge, but we will help you completely heal in our food freedom program.
So just know that this is the tip of the iceberg. Um, there's more to it, but I wanna help you get started today and I want you to picture a slingshot for a minute. The biggest entrance, I guess, into binging is restricting. Restricting. So think about pulling that slingshot, you know, and the further you pull that slingshot, maybe you have like a little rock in it or so.
The further you pull it back, the bigger it is. The [00:05:00] more you build tension on that string, the further it slings forward, right? The further it goes. And so it, um, it, it goes further. And this is the same thing for. Dieting. The more we restrict, the more we put tension on ourselves, I would say right tension on ourselves to make certain choices, tension to restrict foods.
The more we pull that tension, the more likely, the more inclined we are to essentially release that restriction into. Unrestrained freedom, right? Like, just like, just, just all for all. What's the word I'm looking for? You know, free for all. So [00:06:00] we kind of, we probably know this, I mean, basically what I'm trying to get at is that we know that this happens.
You have plenty of evidence that it happens, but yet we keep going back because. We don't know any other way, right? So you've either tried to restrict it, backfires on you, or you've tried to say, okay, well all foods are available, all foods are on limits, and you did that and then you overate and you binge still.
Okay? So you're stuck. You're stuck in knowing, well, hey, I have some goals I wanna hit. Maybe I do wanna create body change. But how do I combine some guidelines that are going to help me get there? Because clearly what I'm doing right now isn't helping me get there. How do I combine some guidelines to get there with [00:07:00] food freedom, right?
Like allowing myself to have freedom and confidence around food. Whew. Does that feel like a big question? Yes. We're gonna talk about it. We're gonna scratch the surface today. And the key here, and this is what I want you to take with you throughout the whole uh, podcast episode today, is structure and flexibility.
When those two things can coexist, we can find freedom, because freedom without laws and rules is chaos. Too much. Laws and rules without any freedom is prison. So we can look at it from that perspective. Like we know that if, if there were no lights, like, like, [00:08:00] uh, lights, uh, for. Stoplights. You know, if, if there were no stoplights, it would be chaos, right?
Cars would be coming and going, and nobody would know when to stop and nobody would know when to go, and it would be crazy. So we have these parameters in place that help us know, okay, it's time to stop here and it's time to go here. And this is the same thing with food. There has to be a balance between having some structure and some flexibility.
How do we do that? The first thing that everyone forgets, that everyone misses that gets left out is an element of body trust. Okay. If we, if you looked at the stoplights on the road and you were like, I don't trust you. I'm just gonna go, I don't, I, you're not [00:09:00] gonna tell me what to do. Or like, I don't like you.
Or Man, you know what, one time I went on the green, someone still hit me. So this whatever, right? Like sometimes we get in this mode or I just don't, I don't trust these. Maybe they're not telling me the right thing, or I've been, it didn't work last time or. Some of these things that you might also tell your body, right, is, um, you find yourself in a place of kind of not trusting the structure, not trusting your abilities.
So we have to first create an element. Of trust with our bodies, and that means we know that our bodies are capable of telling us things like, I'm hungry. It's time for me to eat. I'm full. I know when to stop and I can stop. [00:10:00] I need this today, or I need that today. Or guess what? You know what? I don't need that.
Treat today, or I don't need that second treat because I feel satisfied. And if we don't have the A connection and B, trust with our bodies, no amount of change, no amount of, no amount of structure, no amount of rules is going to heal that because at the end of the day, you will always go back to. The rules, you'll always go back to the rules.
So keep that in or keep that in your pocket. We've got to build an element of body trust. If you don't know how to do that, come to our challenge. Come join Food Freedom. Like that's what's going to help you build that relationship of trust. Second. Thing. [00:11:00] One choice is one choice. In fact, I want you to keep that mantra in your mind.
One choice is one choice. One choice does not have to equal 10 more choices. You get to say, I made this choice, and then I move on and make another choice. So if I've already eaten the cookie that I wasn't supposed to have. That's one choice. Okay? And you get to make one other choice to say, you know what?
I need to remove myself from this treat. Go out and walk whatever. Instead of, okay, well one choice I made to eat the cookie. I might as well make one more choice to eat another one and one more choice to eat another one. You have the power to stop the spiral at any choice. You have that power, and especially if you have body trust that power is even bigger, right?[00:12:00]
So think about that. I have the power, one choice is one choice, and I have the power to stop the spiral. I also have one, the power to start a new spiral of. Spiraling up, right? I get to choose one choice. I get to choose today. I'm going to the gym, or today I'm exercising and I get to go to the next step.
The next morning I'm gonna wake up and go to the gym. The next morning I'm gonna wake up and go on a walk the next morning, right? One choice is one choice, okay? Third, are we on the third prioritize nutrition. This is where some of the structure comes in. If your body is being fed the proper nutrients, then that strengthens the ability for body trust when you are giving it the foods.
That [00:13:00] create the right hormone signaling, you can trust that your body is going to give you all the answers. And I understand if this feels very foreign to you, because it can be, especially if you've been in dieting culture for a long time or the dieting cycle, but. We want to make sure that we're doing the best we can to have some structure with our nutrition.
Are you just eating a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast? We cannot rely on body signals. To give us a whole lot when all we're feeding it is carbohydrates. We need a balance at every meal and snack possible of carbohydrates, fats, and proteins. [00:14:00] Those together work. Magic in your body because they, they come together to give you the signals that you need.
The hunger signals, the fullness signals, the satiety signals, all of that prioritize nutrition. That could mean, um, you know, a flexible meal plan that could mean learning about how nutrition works. And we teach that in food freedom. Kind of learning how do I, how do I do it without tracking every calorie or meal planning?
Every single meal, because that's highly unrealistic for many people. And that's where we get stuck. We feel like we have to meal plan perfectly, or we have to eat perfectly. We have to track perfectly. And that is. Okay. Unrealistic for a lot of, a lot of us, um, or undesired, right? Like we, we just probably don't desire to do that [00:15:00] forever.
So how do we learn to eat from a place of intuitive approach? Okay, last one. This one's really important. Permission with boundaries. So when you have food freedom, all food is available to you. However, that doesn't mean that you eat all food or eat un, unrestricted is not the right word, but that's the best one I can come up with right now.
Like unrestricted, right? Just free for all whatever I want, that's not gonna serve you either, both in your goals and also in your health. So this is how we do it. We go back to our BO element of Body Trust and we check in and say, my body responds best when I dot. [00:16:00] How does your body respond best? That's a first question, right?
A question to ask yourself, and then maybe when you're. Wondering about like the dessert table or what you're going to have for breakfast? How does my body respond best? Well, I noticed that when I ate that bagel and cream cheese, I was just craving a bunch of more carbs throughout the day. But you know what?
The other day when I had like an egg and some avocado and some toast, I felt pretty satisfied. And that was a day that I wasn't as bingey or snacky. Cool. That gives me some evidence and some information that I can use and that helps us understand what our body responds best to. So permission with boundaries.
[00:17:00] Let me share a couple things that I do personally that help me so. If I, let's say I make my kids and my family pancakes. I know that pancakes is a very simple sugar, not a lot of fiber, not a lot of protein, not a lot of fats. It's just mostly carbs of. So when I feed my family pancakes, I usually put a scoop of protein powder in it and maybe some olive oil, or I serve it with eggs or, um, with some fat or something, or a smoothie or more protein in it.
I, I, I don't just typically, you know, sometimes you have occasions, but typically I don't just. Pour a plain pancake and serve it to myself or my family, because that's a, that's how I [00:18:00] know my body and my kids' bodies respond best. Here's another one. I love a good, I love a good treat. I love treats. I love treats, and I'm a total sweets girl.
I love any. Kind of baked good that exists on this planet. It can say no to the candies, but the baked goods are the best. So, or or any sort of chocolate, I would say. Like, I just don't love the sugary candies, like Skittles and stuff like that. But I love that and I know that if I give myself permission to.
The habit without any boundaries, I'm more prone to eating more than I want. That's kind of my personality. That's kind of [00:19:00] my, the word attribute. Like some of us have different things that we're prone to more, and I know that about myself, so I have permission with boundaries. If I enjoy a treat, my boundary is that I'm not grabbing it from the counter and walking around and eating it.
I'm sitting down and I'm actually enjoying the treat. I'm mindfully eating the treat. I like to have like a little, like, we get these really yummy peanut butter cups from Trader Joe's. Um, every week and I just love to have like one or two of those after my lunch. And instead of throwing in my mouth and running around and grabbing, I enjoy sitting down, usually after I've put the baby down for a nap and just having a moment and like mindfully eating this peanut butter cup and I don't need more.
Because I've [00:20:00] enjoyed it, but when I don't, when I'm, when I grab and go, I find myself going back for more. So I am allowed to eat all foods. I also have a boundary. That when I make cookies or when I have something, I do my best to sit down and mindfully enjoy it. Okay, one more, one more thing. Um, I love.[00:21:00]
Okay. One more. Like I said, my attitude, my. Propensity, I think I might say, um, is to know where the food is in my house, if I have a treat or something. Like if it's in the cupboard, I know it's there. My husband and son could let something go stale and not even think twice about it after they've eaten it once.
Like's just not on their mind. But I generally have more of. Like, oh, I know that's there and I will probably eat more of it. And so one of my [00:22:00] permission with boundaries is that I don't necessarily, I don't often have a lot of treats available in my home. Um, because for me, it's not that I binge on them, but I will definitely eat more of them than I would if they weren't.
But my permission is is that anytime. Okay. I want something. I have all the tools I can have that I need to make something right? So I have sugar and butter and flour and all of that stuff to make something if I want it right, or I also have permission to go and get it from the store if it's something that feels like it's going to satisfy and I want, so for example.
Um, I like, I've shared this before, so maybe you've heard it, but this is kind of one of my favorite things. I love peanut m and ms. I think they're so good. [00:23:00] If I went and bought a giant Costco size of peanut m and ms, I would probably eat them more than I would if I didn't have them at my house. But being able to have allow them in my life when I want them is really great.
So I know I could go to the store anytime, and you know what? I don't really. I don't need them most of the time, but I have a really fun thing that if we ever go on a road trip or like a date night with a, like, sometimes we'll go do a Parade of Homes tour where we, you know, drive around a lot or we're in the car, you know, um, I go to the gas station and get myself a little bag of peanut m and ms and it's like, so fun.
And it's like one of, it's like a. A feel good treat, right? I am doing something fun. It's something I look forward to every time we go on a field, a road trip, I'm just like, oh, I've got my peanut m and ms. I don't need 'em really. Any other time I don't think about them. I don't worry about [00:24:00] them. I can go get them today if I want, but I don't.
But if they were sitting in my house on my counter, I'd probably grab some here and there more than I do. If it wasn't there. Now, this is not. The way everyone should do it. Okay. That's not what I'm saying. But when you have an element of body trust and you give yourself permission with boundaries, you get to create what those boundaries look like.
And I like to use the word boundaries more than rules because it's not a rule. If I wanna go to Costco and have one of those things of M and mss, great. I get to. And then I may have to set some other boundaries for myself when they're in my home. Um, or maybe not. Maybe it's not a temptation for you. So allowing ourselves to have permission with boundaries is what helps [00:25:00] create that balance, right?
We've gotta have body trust. We have to recognize that we get one choice is one choice. We have to prioritize our nutrition and then give ourself permission with some boundaries that help us stay in line with the, the woman of wellness We want to be right. That helps us make the choices that feel best for us and that allow us to show up as the way we want, right?
To support our bodies and. Finally, all you need to do from there is feedback and evaluation, right? What happened here? Did I allow myself too much freedom and I didn't have structure? Or did I have too much flexibility and no structure? Did I have too much structure? So then that slingshot kind of fired off a little bit, and I need to recognize that maybe I need to allow myself to experience that and enjoy it, and, and then [00:26:00] learn how I can create a boundary that will help me stay within a reasonable amount.
We are constantly doing feedback. And I shared a few weeks ago in my emotional eating episode about how even as a coach, I was struggling a little bit a few months ago, and I was, you know, utilizing my skills and tools that I teach in food freedom to, um, help me see what was going on. And I, and I discovered, you know, that I was really, really stressed and there was a lot going on in my overwhelm was.
You know, coming in and I was kind, I kind of had gotten off. And so one choice is one choice. Well, hey, I'm gonna look at my schedule, I'm gonna look at my life. What do I need to adjust so that I'm not feeling these feelings? Because when, when the overwhelm comes in, when those things are happening, we can't always trust, right?
Because we get out of sync. [00:27:00] So we're constantly using feedback. What am I seeing here? What's happening? What do I need to create from this? And then one choice is one choice. I can change that. I can change that choice. I can make something different. I can adjust things to support my body because I have an internal trust that my body will tell me what it needs.
And again, if you, if you struggle with that, that's our module one in food freedom because it's that important. To build relationship and trust with your body. Okay, so balance equals structure and flexibility. Period. End of story. When you can create, you have some structure in your life with health parameters.
And also flexibility to meet your needs in the [00:28:00] way that it feels good and that help you show up. That's where the balance between, um, rules and freedom with food exist rules and I guess free for all. Right? When you have food freedom, that doesn't mean it's all, or it's free for all. It's, I. Uh, all foods are available and on limits, and I know how to balance it.
Okay, so if this feels far off, if you keep messing up because you're just, that slingshot just gets pulled and or you're in the pendulum back and forth, that's what our challenge is for Join us. Link is in the show notes, and thank you so much for joining me on my podcast Walk Today. I hope you're out doing something.
Nice. You can hear a bird in the background chirping. I hope you're doing something for yourself today, and if you aren't, go do something for yourself right after you've listened to this to support your body and build [00:29:00] that trust starting today. Okay.
